Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Bollocks!
I wonder who the first person ever to shout BOLLOCKS! out at a festival was? Along with the inevitable "I remember when all this was fields." joke it's one of those enduring festival traditions that seems to be passed on year by year without anyone ever actually teaching anyone it. It's probably a natural instinct. When the first Homo Erectus struggled to light a fire to flame grill his mammoth burger* his friends danced around drinking cheap warm cider and shouting BOLLOCKS!
I normally see it as a challenge to get people to shout something new. Sometimes something new comes along all on it's own. There was the TIMMEH! respite inspired by the kid in a wheelchair from South Park. As an aside, if Matt and Trey are so aware of kids responses to disability why weren't Blue Peter before they introduced Joey Deacon? Ok, maybe they were and the mission to educate kids about disabled people to stop them taking the piss. And that's something I think we can all support. It just backfired badly. Who of around my age wasn't called a Joey at school?
Anyway, I was talking bollocks. Last year we were in a slightly enclosed bit of campsite and there wasn't quite the room for the mexican wave-esque spread of the shouts to really come past us. It was a mixed blessing. Yes, it was bliss to be free of the shouts all night but it did prevent spontaneous new shout generation (SNSG). Our greatest ever achivement, and I say our for SNSG can't be achieved alone, was getting half of campsite J singing Kum By Ah (my lord) as a round with each little group of friends starting at a different point. It's possible this came out of randomness but however it came about it worked. You do have to be a little careful with SNSG though, you'll find that your wittiest ideas will disappear into the ether but the most annoying chants will come back again and again, haunting you for the rest of the weekend if not every year you ever return to the festival.
*1. I have no idea if this is historically accurate or not. If anyone out there wants to fill me in on who the first humans ancestors to use fire were and whether there were any mammoths around then I'd love to know.
2. Mmmmm... Mammoth Burger
3. Actually they flame grilled them a bit first and then just microwaved them when people ordered one.
4. Huh huh huh, I said Erectus.
I normally see it as a challenge to get people to shout something new. Sometimes something new comes along all on it's own. There was the TIMMEH! respite inspired by the kid in a wheelchair from South Park. As an aside, if Matt and Trey are so aware of kids responses to disability why weren't Blue Peter before they introduced Joey Deacon? Ok, maybe they were and the mission to educate kids about disabled people to stop them taking the piss. And that's something I think we can all support. It just backfired badly. Who of around my age wasn't called a Joey at school?
Anyway, I was talking bollocks. Last year we were in a slightly enclosed bit of campsite and there wasn't quite the room for the mexican wave-esque spread of the shouts to really come past us. It was a mixed blessing. Yes, it was bliss to be free of the shouts all night but it did prevent spontaneous new shout generation (SNSG). Our greatest ever achivement, and I say our for SNSG can't be achieved alone, was getting half of campsite J singing Kum By Ah (my lord) as a round with each little group of friends starting at a different point. It's possible this came out of randomness but however it came about it worked. You do have to be a little careful with SNSG though, you'll find that your wittiest ideas will disappear into the ether but the most annoying chants will come back again and again, haunting you for the rest of the weekend if not every year you ever return to the festival.
*1. I have no idea if this is historically accurate or not. If anyone out there wants to fill me in on who the first humans ancestors to use fire were and whether there were any mammoths around then I'd love to know.
2. Mmmmm... Mammoth Burger
3. Actually they flame grilled them a bit first and then just microwaved them when people ordered one.
4. Huh huh huh, I said Erectus.
# posted by Mike @ 11:18 
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i made the "i remember when it was all fields" joke on friday evening. someone with me said "really?" with genuine interest.
fucking twat.
fucking twat.
# posted by 
: 1:07 PM
: 1:07 PM
Ok, my name is Steve Draper. I have witnesses in Tockwith near York, that I was the inventor of shouting 'bollocks' at Reading festival in 1994. I didn't see one fucking band, apart from Henry Rollings. It was me, and now I'm 32. Consider youreself priveleged, I just got so wound up tonight wondering about the 'craze' I had started. Take care.
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