ComEnts

Prior to last night, the scariest things that had ever happened to me were probably:

1. Having my spine compacted in a rugby scrum; ambulance to hospital, not being able to feel my feet, "would I walk again?" stuff.

2. A car crash outside Nettlebed, bounced off a wall, 360 degree flatspin, car was totalled, to this day I don’t know how the driver and I survived. From happy and relaxed to brown-trousered terrified in the space of about 0.5 of a second. For years I could summon up cold sweats at will by just thinking about it.

But last night was probably scarier because I saw it all coming, and if I could bottle that sort of adrenaline rush, I'd soon be loaning money to Bill Gates. The last six months of gigs have all seemed very workmanlike for me - not that I didn’t enjoy them, but I didn’t get those insane butterflies in my stomach that get the creative juices flowing. Last night, my first gig as singer/frontman in about 5 years, was mind-blowing, absolutely amazing. It's all very well and good to stand in the corner wailing away on the guitar, but to stand out front and put your soul out there for public consumption is something else. For about an hour I felt like my heart was going to pulverize my chest cavity; unbelievable. It was like my first ever gig all over again - now I remember why I do this: forget everything else, all the "industry" bollocks, it means nothing. I would run through walls to get that feeling again (Feb 16th at the 3B's, as it goes!). I only had one JD last night (still my preferred throat-loosener) but this morning I feel about as depleted and come-downy as I have ever done.

I think the gig itself went well, I had to make up the words to our last song cos I over-reached myself in going for deep, meaningful lyrical content instead of rhyming couplets that I could remember, and we missed out a whole section to another one, but everyone clapped and cheered us in between songs, and the feedback was good. All I know is that I want to get back on that ride again as soon as I can. Iain was fantastic on drums (not a surprise, but a total pleasure) and was improvising some amazing fills, Sam's bass was thunderous (someone came up to me afterwards and said he was blown away by Sam's playing), and Mikey was legendary - everytime I got lost or tripped over myself through the effort of trying to remember lyrics I just looked and listened to where he was and found my way back again. Not a bad start to our gigging history! 25 mins flew past in the blink of a particularly loud eye.

Big thanks to the Sand Creek Massacre (who were a bit flat last week, but I "got" them last night, full marks to them. I'm used to bands who have the complete "image" being pretty average performers and songwriters, but these guys are holding a pretty impressive hand), Rebus and Off The Radar, all of whom were pretty bloody amazing. Luisa (as ever), Mike and Jo at Sugar Rush, everyone who came down and Wolfie who really is a "sound" bloke.